"2020, like for many others, was an incredibly difficult year for me. It was the most difficult year in my life thus far. I had lost my most beloved brother in April while 15 weeks pregnant with my son. As the grief pressed on in full force, I had a complicated end of pregnancy while struggling with a difficult flare from my autoimmune disease. The battle of grief for my brother and joy for my new son whilst fatigued with bodily dysfunction took up all of my brain space and my heart. While I would say I had faith and a desire for God most of my life, I’ve never begged for His nearness like I did last year (and still do). I’ve never had to rely on Him and trust Him so deeply. Worldly things filled my cup up most days before last year, and I would pray and converse with Him what now feels like more out of duty. But 2020 made me cry out to the Lord daily. I had to trust in Him like no other when the world felt so cruel for robbing me of someone I loved so dearly, yet giving me another sweet baby I’ve prayed for all of my life. But one hymn constantly played in my head-
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord!"
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
That simple hymn I know is the Lord talking with me daily. I can hear and feel Him saying to just trust. To trust my brother is walking with Him, free of the worldly battle he fought so intensely, smiling and rejoicing in the presence of his maker. To trust he is the giver of Life, and death has no victory because of Him. To trust that He holds my children as His children, and He enjoys blessing me and loving on me with them. That sweet hymn is the first thing I hear in my head each morning, and I know it’s the Lord sitting with me, telling me he’s so very near, and to continue to trust Him more each day." - Kelsey B.